Do You Teach Your Kids To Dream?

Recently, my husband and my sons attended the NCAA Semi finals game and attended a Chicago Bulls vs. NY Knicks game in Chicago. Both events were on their list of things my kids had on their Dreams List.

The Dreams List is a list, my husband and I have them create every year, of their dreams they would like to accomplish this year.  It is separate from their goals list and is a list designed entirely to be exploring and living life to the fullest. The idea of the list was born to help them understand that life is not a dress rehearsal and that you get one life, one chance to live so do all the things that you want.  I think many people understand this concept but what happens is life gets in the way of dreams for many people: they have bills to pay, kids to support or just other things to do.  Or they simply, lose their dreams to fear and think that they are too big to be achieveable so just stop pursuing them and simply wait to hit the lottery or get the big windfall.

My husband and I created the Dream List concept because we wanted them to understand from an early age and instill in them the concept that you never give up on your dreams. They're always achieveable and that anything is impossible and so far, so good. Since we started the idea three years ago, the kids have really met many of the items on their Dream List and at the same time, my husband and I have had fun going places and doing things that we have also wanted to do as well. It's an amazing process to watch them research places are think of new ideas. For example, my middle son put on his list last year to visit all the seven wonders of the world and take photos in front of each wonder. He derived this idea after learning about the various wonders in school and it's something he is really convinced he is going to do and has started to research which order he will visit them in. All in all, it's great to watch them dream and think possible many things that most people think are impossible.

What ideas do you have to encourage your children to dream?

Your Hoodie or Your Life

This to me pretty much sums up the Trayvon Martin matter. Just in case you haven’t heard about this case, it’s where a 17-year old black male in Florida was killed by a neighborhood watchman, who has yet to be arrested because he claimed self-defense even though he pursued Martin.

In a case that has brought outcry across the country and sparked outrage by a generation of youth the likes of which we haven’t seen before, many believe Martin was gunned down due to his race and because he looked suspicious wearing a hoodie. The hoodie has become a symbol of a nation of people fed up with young black men being gunned down for looking suspicious. As such, black men from across the country have started taking photos of themselves in hoodies in a show of solidarity with Martin.

While the facts of the Martin case are unconscionable and make you angry and sad, it’s a good reminder to speak our youth, especially our sons, about Driving While Black, Walking While Black or simply just being black in America. It’s also a reminder for us as parents that we need to continue to advocate not only for our kids, but all kids because justice deferred is the same as justice denied. And the facts of the Martin case are too horrible for us to allow justice to be denied.

What are your thoughts about the Trayvon Martin case? Have you talked to your kids about Trayvon Martin?

Do you have a Blessed Home?

“The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” Proverbs 3:33


I picked up a plaque the other day from Family Christian store. The plaque read: As for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord. My 9 year old, who was with me asked what the plaque meant and as I began to explain it to him, I wondered how many of us really have a blessed home?

By blessed home, I mean a home where God is the center and focus, where prayer is common and the family is spiritually based. I myself was raised in the church. I have such fond memories of attending vacation bible school, going to Sunday school and having the church as the center of our home?

So much is happening in our world, especially with our youth, that it is really hard for kids to make it without the love and protection of God.

Some things you can do to keep your family in the spirit of Lord:

1. Attend worship services. It doesn’t matter what denomination you are, just attend. Worship services help you stay connected to other like minded children of God.

2. Pray together. I don’t mean just bless the meals. I mean make it a happy to pray together as a family and to pray for each other. Take some time each day or each week to do a family prayer where everyone gets together and say a prayer.

3. Attend spiritual events. There are so many events out there for families to attend that you can also find many spiritual events whether it’s an event at a church, a Joyce Meier seminar, etc.

4. Spiritual entertainment. I try to keep gospel music and Christian related family movies in vast supply around my house.

5. Family activities. I normally put notes in my children’s lunches that they enjoy reading at school or wherever they are. Often times, I will make one of the notes a Bible verse and ask them about it when they get home. I also occasionally will do activities that are spiritual related and fun such as a scavenger hunt of Bible verses or have them write a report on stories from the Bible.

What do you do to maintain a blessed home?

Do You Remember To See The Best In Your Children?

I was talking to a neighbor of mine recently who was talking about the trials she has been experiencing with her high school children and as we were talking: Marvin Sapp's song: The Best In Me came on in the background. Sapp is one of my favorite gospel singers because his songs simply inspire you.  While she was talking, I kept hearing in the background the words: "he saw the best in me." So I turned it up to let her hear it because it was so timely.

Here's the thing, our children may disappoint us sometimes. It's natural. People, and kids too, are only human. Despite our best efforts, they simply do things we don't like, things we know may lead them astray, things that may scare us. But, for all our love and concern, just remember they are children of God and that God sees the best in them and so should we. This doesn't mean not to intervene or have concerns but simply that as parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family and friends, we always need to be there to support them, love them and offer as much help when things go astray. It's important to always see the best in them because when we do, we allow them to continue to see the best in themselves and that is always the path to redemption.

What do you think?

Teaching Kids About Dr. King

Happy Birthday Dr. King! Today we celebrate the birth and life of Dr. King and his attempts to bring equality for all man kind.  This is an important part of our history and very important for us to make sure that our kids are all aware of who Dr. King is. I know it's strange to imagine that anyone wouldn't know who he is but we're raising a new generation of youth removed from the struggles of the past so it's important to keep them reconnected everyday and today is a great day to remind them, show them and highlight for them how far we've come. Today, consider doing any of the following with your kids:

1. Let them hear the I Have A Dream Speech. 
2. Ask them to pick out their favorite Dr. King quote and discuss with them, what it means, why he said it and how it relates to something today.
3. Take them to a museum of civil rights in your town to learn about our history.

How do you plan on celebrating Dr. King's holiday today?

Relevance, Not Fame, Is What Matters

It seems the world goes crazy whenever a celebrity has a baby or gets married. Such is the latest case with the Beyonce and Jay-Z baby. I honestly couldn't believe all the articles trying to guess why they named their baby Blue or all the social networking excitement surrounding the baby.  It really illustrates just how much we live in a culture obsessed with celebrity that singers and rappers get more praise than teachers and fireman. But this is nothing new. It's a fact or an observation that we've realized for years as a society.

Now don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with fame or being a celebrity. After all, there are a few celebrities I admire myself. However, I think it's important that we teach our children that it's more important to be relevant than to have fame. Fame is fleeting. Relevance is not and the world truly needs more relevant people. We need people who are willing to educate youth and police our neighborhoods to keep them safe. We need people who are willing to serve their country and fight for freedoms and people to help save lives.  We need people who are willing to stand up for others who can't stand up for themselves and people who are willing to take a chance on life, youth and themselves. 

It's easy as a celebrity obsessed society to forget who the real heroes are , but we should never forget because relevance, not fame, is what matters.

What do you think? Are you teaching your kids the difference between relevant and having celebrity status?

Happy New Year: Creating Vision Boards with Your Kids

Happy New Year! I'm hopeful that 2012 will bring many blessings for each of you. This year, I spent New Years with my husband and sons creating vision boards for the New Year and a theme that we hope will define our new year.

For me, I decide to adopt the Live, Love, Laugh mantra to serve as the theme for my year. After all, it encapsulates everything that I want to do this year: live my best life, love the people who mean the most to me and have a lot of fun. 

I also asked my kids to do the same thing. I want them to get in the habit of every year setting goals, creating a vision for themselves and understanding that their dreams can be a reality. It was really quite interesting watching them come up with their goals and the photos for their boards. If you haven't done this already I would ask you to consider doing this with your kids because it's important for them to have dreams and know what's possible.

The only thing I would say is if you create a vision board and have them set goals it's also important to check in with them mid year or monthly or, whatever you decide is best, to assess how they are making progress towards those goals. This helps them understand accountability.

So have you done a vision board or set goals with your kids?